The Meekrat Entertainment Group

You know what, Edwin? I’ve had enough with being on the receiving end of having stuff done to me. I think it’s time we turned the tables a bit, give them a taste of their own medicine.

“So we’re going to try and trap them?”

We sure are. After all, we know what they want-

“They want us dead.”

Exactly, and I doubt they know about your special talent.

“So you basically want me to sacrifice myself when they get here or something.”

I guess. We still have to figure out how to lure them here.

“You have no idea what you’re doing at this point, do you?”

Of course.

“Of course you don’t, but that’s all right, because I was usually the same way. What if we just yell that we surrender?”

Could work.

*CLICK*

Oh god oh god oh god!

“Keep running!”

Okay, so we set the trap. It seemed to be working, but they sent some sort of man in yellow after us and he brought with him eldritch horrors the likes of which you can’t imagine, nor would you want to, and right now we’re being chased by something that’s all beaks and tentacles and who knows what.

“Every time I stab it or slash it just makes a horrible sound, like it’s laughing or something! It’s mocking us!”

I thought you guys wanted us alive!

“My masters care not whether you are alive or dead! Behold, S’tareafel the Great and Powerful!”

That was the guy, oh god, a portal is opening up and… and… it looks like a green Zoidberg. From “Futurama.” Except he has tentacles instead of claws and legs, and giant black wings. Edwin?

“I’m on it!”

“Oh, don’t be afraid. I’m just glad to be free of that horrid abyss.”

The tentacle demon is talking to us.

“You can call me Steve.”

“Attack, S’treafael! Rend them limb from limb and violate their orifices like so many Japanese school girls!”

“No, I’ve never been into that. I don’t want to rape anymore. I just want to find love, settle down. You know.”

“I do not know! Attack!”

At this point, I don’t think is the same man in yellow that was in the mythos. Wasn’t that guy a king, anyway? I don’t know what’s up with this guy. He seems weird. Oh, S’treafael is approaching the other tentacle monstrosity.

“Listen, I know how Dad is, I know how he just wants me to come into this world and use my tentacles for… THAT, but I don’t want that anymore. I want to make friends.”

The other tentacled monstrosity made some sort of horrible noise. It’s like my ears were stabbed with dead rabid animals.

“I know, Uncle H’llrtyfnt. But this is my choice. So could you go back and tell dad?”

“No! Attack the interloper! Destroy Charleston Charge!”

Uh oh. Now both of the tentacle monsters are looking at me.

“You’re Charleston Charge?”

Yes… Steve. I am.

“Oh. We shouldn’t attack him anyway.”

“Yes you should!”

“Uncle?”

Oh lord. Oh good lord. Steve’s uncle is… doing unspeakable things to the man in yellow. Now he’s talking to Steve, and now he’s gone. Why didn’t you go, Steve?

“I want to stay here. Find myself. Find my purpose.”

Edwin is unshaken by all of this.

“I’ve seen far worse.”

“Can I travel with you?”

Do you know where the Apocalyptic Council is holed up?”

“I do. I can give you two a ride there, if you like. Anything to help Charleston Charge.”

All right, then. On the way there, we have to decide whether we want to do a full-on attack or sneak around and do espionage. What do you think, Edwin? Ah. Edwin just shrugged.