MMM: The Portal Opens
Posted by meekrat on November 11, 2009
Solana: It looks like something is going on down there.
Xig: We’d better get going. But how?
Charleston Charge: Maybe if we all hold hands or a reasonable substitute a portal will open up?
Xig: Better than nothing! Okay, everyone, hold some hands!
Narrator: After several minutes…
Xig: Nothing is happening!
Mike P: In video games and stuff, you usually have to sort of announce yourself.
Xig: Couldn’t hurt to try. I am Warlord Xigethorpe the Third, Master of Ceremonies!
Solana: I am Solana Xen, Mistress of Ceremonies!
Charleston Charge: I am Charleston Charge, Chosen of the Embodiment of Good!
Mike P: I am Mike P, Chosen of the Embodiment of Neutrality!
Leo Leopolous: I like the taste of honey. On my tongue.
Narrator: Everyone turns to the lion, realizing their folly, when suddenly!
Xig: It worked! A portal has opened up! Quick, everyone inside!
Narrator: Elsewhile!
Red Scare: Quickly! We must get into that portal before it closes, otherwise those fools will ruin everything!
Mister Lucky: You won’t get there, Red Scare! Cover them until the portal closes!
Jerald: HIZZAH!
Narrator: Jerald rains magic down upon the villains, but Purga the Demon-Thing has other plans! Plans which involve Squibbons Johnson! He hurls the malevolent malleble menance at Jerald!
Squibbons Johnson: Ha! Lesse you get out of this jam!
Narrator: Squibbons engulfs Jerald is his very body, taking him out of the fight… for now? Squibbons, however, is still free to battle on!
Red Scare: Seventeen to ten!
Wyandotte Thompson: Why am I here? I can’t do anything!
Baggy Johnson: You can gimme a sammich.
Wyandotte: You know, those guys have plenty of sandwiches, but they said they won’t give them to you unless you fight them.
Baggy Johnson: SAMMICHES!
Narrator: Baggy Johnson runs into the fray, punching out the second Gemini Twin Trooper!
Gemini Twin Trooper #1: Take out the hobo and the other norms!
Narrator: …but is taken down by a rifle butt to the back of the head! The remaining troopers go forth and shoot Wyandotte in his other leg…
Wyandotte: ARGH!
Narrator: …only to be waylaid by Captain Depresso and the Forgiver!
Captain Depresso: I won’t let anyone jeopardize my wish!
The Forgiver: I’ll make you sorry!
Gemini Twin Trooper #1: Oof!
Gemini Twin Trooper #3: Gah!
Narrator: And so, as we segue out of today’s installment, the heroes have lost Jerald, Wyandotte Thompson, and Baggy Johnson. The villains have merely lost the Gemini Twin Troopers. Who will prevail? Tune in tomorrow to find out!
