MMM: Demonic Escalation
Posted by meekrat on November 20, 2009
Mike P: It looks like a fight’s breaking out. We should get out of there before we’re dragged into it.
Leo Leopolous: Let’s kill agents!
Xig: No, lion, Mike P is right! Quickly, into the portal!
Narrator: The quintet leap into the portal! Agent Villain stealthily sneaks up to it before it closes, only to find his way blocked!
Agent Villain: Out of the way! I have a job to do!
Mister Lucky: Oh no you don’t, you slimy bastard! The only way you’ll get into that portal is through me!
Agent Villain: As far as I’m concerned, that just sweetens the deal.
Narrator: Agent Villian pulls a knife from his pocket and lets out a primordial scream as he lunges at Mister Lucky! But what of the battle taking place scant yards away?
Purga the Demon-Thing: I’ll kill each and every one of you and use your skulls for a necklace!
Player One: I don’t think so! You ready, Player Two?
Player Two: You bet I am!
Narrator: Player One pulls out his modified NES Zapper while Player Two pulls out one of his NES controller grenades! They shoot and toss their weapons!
Purga: Hm. That actually hurt!
Player One: We’re not done yet!
Graves: I don’t see why I should care.
Jimmy Swift: Neither do I.
Player One: Uh… Purga called you both dirty Jews.
Graves: What? YOU SON OF A BITCH!
Jimmy Swift: I still don’t-
Player Two: He also said you were bad at lawyering.
Jimmy Swift: Oh, it’s on.
Purga: Stop shooting me! Never have I been more glad that none of my regular enemies don’t use guns! Ow! OUCH! STOP IT!
Player One: I think it’s time we joined back in.
Player Two: Hells yes.
Purga: OW! Okay, fine! I quit! Red Scare, you’re on your own now! Stupid guns…
Narrator: In a puff of brimstone, Purga vanishes!
Player One: We’re the best!
